Cack-Handed Away Guide XIV: NUNEATON TOWN FC.

Cack-Handed Away Guide XIV: NUNEATON TOWN FC.

Nuneaton Town FC

Liberty Way

Nuneaton

Warwickshire

CV11 6RR

Nickname

The Boro

But we call them

Nuneatin, The Tin

Billy basics

Manager: Kevin Wilkin

Founded: 1889/1937/1991/2008

2010/11: 6th, Conference North

2009/10: 2nd, Southern Premier

2008/09: 2nd, Southern Midlands

Highest position: 2006/07: 6th, Conference North (2nd, Alliance Premier as Borough)

Average attendance 2010/11: 953

Who are The Tin?

The Tin have claimed a handful of guises in the past and I'm not sure whether I should let them lay claim to them. Claiming Nuneatin's earlier identities would be like claiming a soggy, unwrapped Chewit from the floor of a changing cubicle at the swimming pool however, so let them have it if it pleases them. 

Tin #1: 1889-born local church team playing on local fields in typical provincial leagues including the Nuneaton League itself, which seems like cheating to me. Folded after getting rid of their ground in 1937.

Tin #2: slightly-less-provincial outfit Nuneaton Borough, who joined the Southern Premier in 1958 reaching the Alliance League in 1979, that famous non-league apex, able to push for the Football League in the mid '80s. With the '90s came Boro's sad decline though, sorta-reforming in the Southern League Midlands. Their second crack at the big-time then came at the Millennium, occasionally tickling the top spot with the ol' non-league feather duster. They ran out of a puff again in 2003 and dropping to the Southern Premier, unable to take the pressure of being in the same league as the Shaymen. History will (may (might (meh, forget it))) repeat itself. 

Election to the Conference North came in 2004, a league they nearly sussed. Then came their Token Big FA Cup Run® in 2006, but a replay in the Third Round at Middlesborough saw them outclassed 5–2. Finally, the big shock came in spring '08 when Nuneatin's long-term directors left due to ill health, leaving a black hole of debt visible for all. Within a few months the club, having invested a tonne in a ground move from Manor Park to their current Liberty Way, had gone bust.

Tin #3: reformed as Nuneaton Town, the buggers only had to drop two leagues and gained promotion the Southern Midlands League on the first time of asking. A second play-off push made good saw The Tin join the Conference North. Especially in The Land of Tinpot however, no-one likes a show-off. A third play-off tournament in the 2010/11 season came to nowt. Now the Shaymen have joined them in the league again, they couldn't have picked a worse time to attempt for promotion. *puffs chest*

The ground

Sources 1 2 3

The Tin's venue since 1937, Manor Park, saw its last fixture at the end of 2007 against Vauxhall Motors. How moving that must have been.

The ground that ended them last time around, Liberty Way, is where we'll meet in February. Being a 21st century ground, it clings to the underbelly of an industrial estate. "At least it's got a proper name!" I hear you say. Well, it actually does have one of those "official" sponsored names. Are you ready for this? Right. The Triton Showers Community Arena. Swoon.

Originally built with a tarpaulin main stand, the busy builders of Nuneaton have recently finished work on a proper 1000-seater just in time for the Great Invasion of the Shaymen. All the other sides boast low terraces which I'm sure will be crammed too.


The town

Busy little market town nine miles from exotic Coventry and 20 miles from Birmingham and Leicester, you spoilt bastards. Home of the English-sounding frittata, if you want to eat with the best of 'em.

Despite being just down the road from Stinckley, Nuneaton is marginally easier to reach. From Manchester Piccadilly, a transfer can be taken from Stoke-on-Trent to Nuneaton. From Leeds, a transfer can be taken from Birmingham New Street. By car, remember not to get lost in Bermuda, eh.

Please recommend us a watering-hole. :(

Will we need to segregate?

In the possible event of a heated promotion battle.

OFFICIAL SITE

MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF HERE
AND HERE, COS THEY'VE GOT TWO FORUMS LIKE 
TWITTER

Strictly come dogging.

Strictly come dogging.

It's been a pretty good week. For me on a personal level, anyway. But then I decided to carry on being a Shayman and get emasculated as Radcliffe Borough came back from two goals behind, and over the course of 20 minutes, changed the tables to make the final score 3–2.

You couldn't really blame them for their utter ecstasy as one of their coaches ran towards the kick-off spot once the third went in as it seemed the last result you would guess. Things felt tentative for Halifax as soon as Radcliffe's first breakthrough attack of the second half found its way scrappily past John Hedge, and two—just two—further breaks put them in front for the first time in the game.



But again, the Shaymen's end wasn't the one with the most divots in as we put in a typical 35-attack display, close on many occasions but clear-cut and in on just two. The first game halfway through the first half and in good time, as the Stockport-loaned goalkeeper Lloyd Rigby went out to clear a ball which found its way to Phelan, who made it fly well over the defenders' heads and to the other side of the nets. The man had yet another top, dedicated game whereas Baker made balls fly, partly down to carrying a bit of hip pain. The second was a close-range header into an open net as the keeper was on the other side near the start of the second half, and several others their keeper managed to save without making errors in his placing. In all though, he was possibly the best I've seen in this league, and won't remain here long. Didn't stand there hopelessly putting on weight like the others, but couldn't kick a ball.

Neil Aspin seemed to make this match a test for a slightly different formation. Marshall came on as a substitute (along with Peers, who deserves 90 minutes at least half the time, adds incredible pace) but those two came all at late time. Andy Lee played left wing and carried the ball very well but didn't get stuck in. Codman wasn't present, and in defense Riley was performing at a low standard.



Anyway, another case of us needing to be more clinical I guess. Even before we start to focus on bringing together our excellent defenders as a tight unit, I suggest attacking like it'll only happen two or three times in a game. Many of our opposition do it, and succeed leaving us bewildered. My second team, Bury, are also great practitioners of it, and training on Radcliffe's pitch maybe Boro' took in this form of play to use today. A game of two halves and the second eventually went their way.



Not without entertainment, though. The order of the five goals could've been a thrill and the work was end-to-end, with very little time to tune off, if ever. Off-pitch entertainment included a very reactionary adolescent member of the steward team. When he bleated "COME ON, BURY!" he received a load of taunts, so he resorted to angrily flapping around his arms inside his oversized bright orange jacket, making chimp-like faces at the Town fans. As the ferocious few stewards walked past the seating again they got chanted at, and the lad seemed visibly distressed, whining "Shut up!" at one person he managed to pick out. Quality stuff, and if anything he should have been more susceptible to banter.

The atmosphere could've been a lot better, but even as fans we lacked a bit of confidence today. Lots of growling really, and an irritating amount sneaking out with a few minutes to go. What was worse though, was the one or two that made their opinions known to our players in a foul way. Many a simian creature takes joy of hitting Halifax when we're down, but with those apes around posing as "fans" and giving our team abuse, the fire is fuelled. I suggest they take a long holiday to Norfolk Island.

The ground filled requirements basically, having enough area behind each goals to suit my yelling needs with a very decent seater stand behind one nets, several concrete steps behind the centre of the other and rickety steel along one side, with a few crush barriers along the other. Utilitarian but with a cabin fever feel. Programme was the weakest all season. It looked like a double glazing leaflet with two articles that could be read in just as many minutes, and wasn't glossy, jto tip Wakefield's in being the fartiest affair of the season.


Ground: 6/10
Pitch: 4/10 (couldn't blame the mud in this weather, but the slope is quite something)
Food: 0/10 (no fecking chips or pies or peas in sight, pathetic)
Programme: 1/10
Entertainment: 9/10 (fantastic for the non-partisan)