Showing posts with label stadium. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stadium. Show all posts

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Stalybridge, Boston and Workington.


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The odds have been against me posting anything Town this past month and a bit. Following the Mansfield game I set off from Calderdale to Land's End on my bike, before setting off to Seattle for two weeks (depressing), and now my internet's started functioning properly, here I am.

Watching Town in the Conference North is an improvement. Not that I've seen us put 100% in yet, but I know from these three games that even when it's dross, it's better than watching Worksop players in shelf-stacker shirts falling about like babbies in the midwinter night. The worry is, when will we attain the pace that we've found is necessary to challenge in the Conference North?


The first game is Stalybridge Celtic at home, and my lift is so late that I miss their first goal. It was a penalty conceded by Scott McManus again (Slapp MyMissus), and prolific Stalyvegas striker Phil Marsh put it away. Stalyvegas brought 120 or so over who made a bit of noise and initially, we competed quite well with that. But when James Dean squared it in, Lee Gregory beat the 'keeper to smack the ball in at the other side before too long. It's good to be back, and the Shaymen were putting in a good case for themselves against the table leaders, who had already won their first four games. It wasn't too long after however, that Slapp MyMissus this time failed to take down his opposition as Hogan gave away the ball, and as Eastwood failed to catch the ball, Stalyvegas' Jennings placed the ball in. MyMissus was then, thankfully, substituted.



In the second half, tedium set in. Oh, that second half really was a pain. Much possession from defense to attack, but as soon as we got within 25 yards of the net we became hopeless, without ideas and worried to commit to any ball into the box, let alone shot. On the other side, Stalyfuse hadn't bothered to put the game away for themselves as the tempo of the game slowed and slowed. So in the 91st minute what happened? Aaron 'Ardy was taken down in the box, Town were immediately rewarded a penalty, and what does Baker do? He tucks it in. 2–2 at full-time; Stalyfuse's perfect points tally is no more. The Shaymen are mid-table, but they can silence a full-time Stalyfuse outfit who really were getting rowdy.


A loss, a win and three draws preceded Bank Holiday Monday's game at Boston United. Not so good then, but just two points off where we were last year when we, of course, pissed that tinpot league. Arriving in the Fens I was surprised at how pleasant it looked compared to so much of the crap I'd seen the week before in America, despite as being as flat as a pancake. My lift was late and I missed the first 15 minutes. It appeared we'd already scored this time, but it was just the atmosphere! After the past three seasons you're not used to an away game where the two sides' fans are chanting, but today we were being told by the Boston ultras that we were "just a small town in Goiseley." We reiterated that they were "just a small town in Poland," and that was the best part of the first half.



Boston fans were as unsettled as us with their start to the season: fairly unsettled. Part of their team had left for a better life at Grimsby Town, who also now have Boston's manager and assistant manager. Where were Grimsby as a result? In the relegation zone, and with a viral YouTube sensation:


The Pilgrims' main forward right now is, apparently, a Lincolnshire League stalwart. Their attacks were admittedly blunt, but I could easily see the touchline terrace at York St. explode with joy as one of their attacks actually brought some joy. Luckily, even the close efforts were stopped by Simon Eastwood. Meanwhile, attacking towards a terrace of 320 Shaymen, we got closer still. We were alright, followed by good, followed by very unlucky not to get a goal. The closest chances in a tense wait for the one goal that would get us those three points were from Aaron Hardy, whose free header weaved itself above and then left of the goalposts, then Danny Lowe, who was through but couldn't find a trajectory Boston's 42-year-old 'keeper hadn't got covered.


This begged the question, why was it our defenders who got closest to the goal? Why not our strikers? Of course, Jamie Vardy, now one of the non-league's biggest names, is our squad's long-gone number 7. His pace beat the back line countless times and he was a stark joy to watch, a progressively greater pleasure before becoming a forbidden one, leaving for full-time pay at Fleetwood. But he wasn't the only one who brought us this far down the pitch last season, so our remaining strike force shouldn't be this lumpen. With ten minutes to go the goal seemed imminent, but it didn't end up coming and we were left to be philosophical over a 0–0 draw. One of those fairly entertaining 0–0 draws.

Three points had to come at home to Workington Town, and it did. My lift was late and I missed Wukky's first goal. But again we came back, and again it was Lee Gregory who found a close position to finish it. And like a repeat, Tom Baker scored a penalty. Then in the second half, a corner ball came to Tommy again from 20 yards out, which he blasted through the centre, avoiding all bodies in the box and clumsily going through the Wukky 'keeper. I'd divulge further but to make no bones about it, it was a dull match not worth describing in detail both because I already have with others, because these reports are starting to add up in word count as it is, and of course, I'm not being paid to do this. We won 3–1, we won it at a boring ol' canter, and it's encouraging we can still do that.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Cack-Handed Away Guide XIII: HINCKLEY UNITED FC.


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Hinckley United FC
Leicester Road
Hinckley
Leicestershire
LE10 3DR
Nickname

The Knitters

But we call them

Stinckley, The Stinck


Billy basics

Manager: Dean Thomas
Founded: 1997
2010/11: 15th, Conference North
2009/10: 7th, Conference North
2008/09: 10th, Conference North
Highest position: 2006/07: 4th, Conference North
Average attendance 2010/11: 433


Who are The Stinck?

Hinckley United was an amalgamation of Hinckley Town and Hinckley Athletic, two probable pub teams that no doubt never got the slightest whiffs of playing real, proper League football. Throughout the mid-'90s Athletic were aiming for promotion from the Southern League whereas Town were in the league below, before arrangement was struck to merge the two teams. Athletic's Conference National hopes after merger for the 1997/98 season must've taken an own goal then, because Hinckley United dropped Athletic down to Town's league. After year-on-year improvement, FC United of Stinckley gained promotion back to the Southern League, earning election for the Conference North in 2004.

In the meantime, Stinckley earnt themselves a couple of cup runs. Bowing out in the 2nd Round of the FA Cup at home to Cheltenham in 2001/02, in their first season of Conference North football they held Brentford to a replay in a 2004/05 2nd Round fixture, losing out 2–1 at Griffin Park. Ambitious as ever, The Stinck saw the Conference North as just another hole to escape from and immediately aimed for promotion again. Their 2006/07 season was the closest they got, but early on in the season, tragedy entered the playing field: centre-half Matt Gadsby died on the pitch during an away game at Harrogate. United adjourned for a month, suffering fixture congestion for the remainder of the season and finishing 4th, losing the play-off finals in the last minute at home to Farsley Celtic.

Things also picked up pace elsewhere. In March 2005 more avenues were opened for the Stinck when the building of their new super-stadium was finished. This slightly-out-of-town-but-loaded-with-facilities-and-training-pitches-and-conference-rooms-and-cantilever-roofs-and-even-the-odd-floodlight ground, De Montfort Park, was financed from the selling of Stinckley's old Middlefield Lane and not much else, as the seasons that followed Stinckley's promotion push were tough ones. Accumulated debt got within a few straws of breaking the Stinck's back, but a winding-up order was avoided and Stinckley enter the 2011/12 season without any I.O.U.'s stuck on the communal fridge.


The ground

Sources 1 2 3
 
 De Montfort Park, aka "The Greene King Stadium," has been declared a work-in-progress. Like planning out a massive shit, the ground is to be developed in "phases." The first phase brought the town a completely useable, three-stand stadium, with the second introducing the 3G and junior pitches. The third phase will be an extension of the West Stand to include seating, with the fourth and vaguest phase seeing stand extensions bringing the capacity to above 6,000. A name as silly as de Montfort could have only come from the 6th and final Earl of Leicester, an opponent to Henry III who died in battle in 1265. That should help you in your next pub quiz.

Of course, this means nothing to us Shaymen when we'll probably only visit Stinckley once. It should be our duty to breathe life into an identikit stadium.


The town

Hinckley itself is a pleasant little market town on all accounts. The first place of interest its Wikipedia page lists is its "award-winning public toilets." So, go there. I won't plagiarise on the pub front, just give a glance at any of the pubs featured on this away fans' rough guide. Hinckley's not that small of a town, but Leicester's also close, of course.

Trains are a nightmare. From Halifax you'll have to make a few changes as no trains go straight from Leeds/Manchester to Leicester, with Leicester trains going direct to Hinckley. From Halifax, trains to Manchester, over to Birmingham New Street followed by Hinckley verge on four hours. To get from Leeds to Leicester, changes can be made at Nottingham, Sheffield, Doncaster etc. You'd be much better off getting the supporters' coach.


Will we need to segregate?

No.


Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Kendal Town 2 – 4 Halifax Town; 26/03/11.


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So, another one of those away trips for the whole family. But unlike Whitby, which was called off, and Buxton, which we roundly lost, let's do this one right.

Setting off at half 11 got us there for 1pm, before stopping off at the Ring O' Bells Free House near the ground, a no-nonsense pub with a true soul. Conveniently, this was also next to a record fair with all its Associates records going for £2 each, so I left with four of them. I'd made some profit from this away day already. Contrasting sounds rang from outside however, as a few groups of merry Shaymen sung on their way to The Lakeland Radio "Stadium." Arriving there just before kick-off I came through some turnstiles that overlooked the whole complex. The ground is dripping with character. A graveyard overlooks the ground, with housing on the other side. All four stands are painted black-and-white, two of which occupy the touchline straight ahead of me and could contain 200 or so each. The stand behind the goal to my immediate left is set out with steps like a coliseum's; one side of it has a few rows of seats sheltered with the smallest of roofs a few metres above. This roof operates as an awning for the clubhouse overlooking the stand and ground, so mentally weaker "fans" could stay inside and half-watch the England game. On the opposite touchline is a very small black-and-white terraced stand,  succeeded by some long grass banking which on a day like this accommodated a few hundred mingling supporters of the two Towns. Behind the goal at the very end the Lakeland Radio "Stadium" runs out of character. 'Sall hard standing. A complex set-up, but the main plus however is the at-one-with-nature style toilets you get!



 As I descend the steps and take my place, the 891-strong crowd stops to perfectly observe a minute's silence in memory of our assistant manager Trevor Storton, the man who made his name one of legends at Chester City, Park Avenue and finally Halifax Town in the short remainder of his life. Our players had printed out a set of shirts in his memory and hat-trick hero Vardy had his match ball signed by the team and sent to his family. The whistle then went, and a drunken dozen of Town fans on the coliseum steps attempted to chant when they'd lost all sense of rhythm. They were armed with one of the golden cats you find at Chinese takeaways, and a kazoo through which Maff made a phenomenal impression of the atrocious state of the Tannoy system at the Shay: "Today's official attendance ladies and gentlemen—mththmthththtmhtmtmthnm!"



The positivity around the ground got to Danny Lowe, who went further than his position required to slam one in out of the grasp of the Kendal 'keeper. All Shaymen's eyes were smiling, and we sung "There's only one Trevor Storton." Goals were definitely going to come at this match when both teams were fully focused, the pitch's width allowing for wing action, and its surface good enough to play balls on the deck although we were winning headers from the first minute. Danny Holland carried a presence during this half, but he remained absent from the scoresheet. Rough 'n tumbles in our own area earned Kendal a penalty which went off the post and in. Kendal's firepower continued as much as ours, with a powerful shot of theirs just about missing the middle left of Hedge's net. At half-time the Towns were drawing and England were 2–0 up. Lampard and Bent had surpassed themselves by scoring the most boring goals possible for a bunch of world-class millionaires.


After a half-time of watching said "highlights," and watching a few Shaymen gather around Deano in the clubhouse shouting "DEANO, DEANO, DEANO" followed by "YORKSHIRE, YORKSHIRE, YORKSHIRE" and "WE HATE BURNLEY AND WE HATE BURNLEY" (sadly Deano's team of choice), the Shaymen were back on the pitch. The half started a little worryingly as ball control just wasn't happening against an eager Kendal side, but Lee Gregory's move to the right wing gave him an opportunity to cross it into the area in the 54th minute, which met Vardy's own pace faster than the goalie's and the thing went bang in off his head. What followed were a series of Town attacks, including a one-on-one with Lee Gregory, which the Kendal keeper did well to take from his feet. The next goal came at the other side however, a suspected handball and a lack of tackling enough for Kendal substitute Carl Osman to move into space and shoot the goal of the game from the corner of the box to the opposite corner of the net. He'd made it 2–2 after 79 minutes, and the Shaymen would have to dig up a little character again to come back.


Kendal's plans were thwarted within the next couple of minutes by Danny Holland's pass that weaved between the defenders, leaving Vardy to net the top corner before the 'keeper could get to him. Soon after Vardy delivered a firm "never again" to Kendal, their number two clearing the ball the wrong way which went straight to Vardy's feet, his left-footed first-touch going straight through Kendal's beleaguered goalie and into the back of the net. With greedier Town fans pressing the Shaymen for a fifth the ref announced ceasefire and the young steward in charge of the scoreboard wiped some sweat from his brow.


It is now possible for the Shaymen to have the title by Saturday. Get down to the Shay for then and make some noise.


Kendal Town 2 – 4 Halifax Town; att. 891
Ground: 9/10 (probably falls to 6/10 in the rain)
Pitch: 7/10
Programme: 7/10
Talent: N/A
Entertainment: 8/10
Food: N/A

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Bradford (Park Avenue) 1 – 3 Halifax Town; 24/01/11.


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 This morning we'll be singing 1. All Things Bright and Beautiful, 421. He's Got the Whole World in His Hands and 341. He Who Would Valiant Be.

When interviewed on the Shaymen Player interviewed Neil Aspin after our 8–1 win against Ossett, the first thing he let be known was his "mixed feelings." Our manager felt dissatisfied after recording Halifax Town's best ever league win in 100 years.

Great!

The Park Ave game was originally intended for a Saturday at the end of November, and I remember fetching my bike late the night before to find it covered in snow. The match wasn't to be, and this meant a lower crowd, though still an encouraging 1000 or so Shaymen. What was worse was the temperature, which throughout winter looks a bit like this on a log (Kelvin) temperature scale:

Click to enlarge.

This made it rather difficult to focus on the match as the molecules comprising my body lost their identity and begun to behave as waves, whose patterns quickly begun to overlap each other at a frantic rate. Besides which, the most impressive-looking stand in the league (besides ours) is a let-down when you get there.

The queue was long but the tea ladies kept it moving, though despite their efforts we missed the first few minutes and therefore Vardy's goal! It was close to worth it for the best chips in the league: the sort of splendour you get in good pubs. Our first seating position is towards the bottom of the stand but as high as we can get due to it being packed, and literally half the pitch is obscured by the dugouts. The meal had to be finished quickly, and stood to the top side of the covered stand a better view was found, still obscured by the stand poles and fairly dim floodlights.


The game was a hard watch for most of us because of how hard it was to play. Rain came a few times and the wind was the most powerful I've experienced in the Tin Pot. This ensured our corners would blow out of play most of the time, though is less a disadvantage when it's going your way. Holland fired a ball at the keeper (a master at fumbling the ball), and it flew almost vertically in the air. As Deano anticipated it coming down, it bounced off the ground and 45º into the top of the net! Its dynamics were closer to a rugby ball. The goal was hilarious and worth the asking price of the match.


We realised that Avenue had actually done an alright job in the second half, because running into the wind billowing from the Buttershaw Estate side of the ground was all but took the footballing experience away. They worked the wind well with their first corner. The ball passed the line for about a nanosecond. The lino and ref disagreed on the decision and most of the players joined in the goal dispute. One of them put it that it's physically impossible for Bradford Park Avenue to score a goal, seeing as they failed to score against Retford earlier this season. The other must have followed the cheers from the stands. Of course, this being the seventh tier of English football, nothing was done objectively. I kid, they rightfully halved our lead. 1–2, and with 40 more minutes of dealing with an impeding wind.

 Top tribute to a top fan. Click to enlarge.

Distance from the net when being behind the goal renders it impossible to properly abuse the 'keeper.

Besides the rugby-like movements of the ball, this signalled the turning point where players started engaging in furious rough 'n tumbles: egg chasing, Super League stylée. Vardy's pulled back in their box and we receive a penalty, thank god. It'd be extremely hard for any team to find the net when the wind would change the most blistering shot into an over-hit dribble. Our man Tom Baker buried it into the middle-right of the net, and the two-goal lead was restored.

This blog prides itself in professionalism, but sometimes I take a picture instead of filming and vice versa.

Dissatisfaction with the ref in both camps increases when Scott Phelan rides two dirty tackles followed by another, a hideous two-footer from Avenue's number 3. You can see his arms wave in protest after the first tackle, so it's no surprise that he appeared to retaliate when the number 3 floored him, and this turned into a four-man pile-on. With the fans chanting "OFF!" at the number 3, the ref misconstrued this and sent off Phelan. Wa-hey! Their player/assistant manager picks up on his team-mate's criminal offense, and lays in with a two-footed tackle of his own. Ever an example to the team he dictates, he's sent to the dressing room.


It's fair to say the sides don't like each other anymore. Our best change comes with a long-range shot that the 'keeper, naturally, fumbles, and there was even room for Hedge to spill a ball towards the end of the match too. The ball flew about on its own accord like a cheap fly-away and to some relief of watching a game bereft of many true highlights, the final whistle came. We're now 12 points clear,  21 goals clear and have scored 14 in the last three games. Seasons are never all the same, but our league seems unassailable. We're definitely starting to eye up opposition in the Blue Square North now, like a lad would eye up prettier lasses after finding that his acne has cleared up.


Bradford (Park Avenue) 1 – 3 Halifax Town; att. 1325
Ground: 6/10
Pitch: 6/10
Programme: N/A
Talent: N/A
Chips: 9/10 (succ-u-lent)

Non-partisan entertainment: 5/10