Showing posts with label park. Show all posts
Showing posts with label park. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Guiseley 3 – 4 Halifax Town; 20/09/11.


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There's no better person to quote than myself, because otherwise who would quote me? "When we start playing well for once, it's going to feel mint."

I approached Nethermoor Park as you'd walk past a sleeping Rottweilier that only eats Town fans. A local kid slipped in with us, since his ticket would cost £1 in the company of an adult. After we got through the turnstile he joined a group, one of which shouted at us "You're gonna get battered tonight!" I made a bee-line to the bar and necked a tidy half pint of a Hebden Bridge bitter in time for the players to gather on a clean, slightly warped pitch.


What I heard next shocked me: Neil Aspin's father had passed away from cancer today. The teams lined up and bowed their heads for a minute's silence and the main stand spectators rose, and although by this point I wondered if there was a rational reason for us to stay, Aspin himself was still there by the dugout, showing the astounding resilience we would soon see from the players.

A minute in, Toulson gave it away and an attempt for the right-hand-side of the goal from Guiseley's Peter Davidson trickled through the hands of Eastwood, leaving us 1–0 down. A voice in my head said "9–0 FT."

Seven minutes in and the danger in Guiseley's eyes let's us have it again, with Gavin Rothery finding some space from a header to hit it high up and in. Two goals down and I still hadn't even found a good vantage point from which to shout.


I found my father at the other corner on the ground, who declared we'd lost already and we may as well do what we can until the final whistle. But 20 minutes had elapsed and we hadn't conceded a goal in a while, so was some momentum being picked up? Yes, we had a good amount of possession but were we to let Guiseley on the attack again it'd be safe to assume they'd score, knowing our red carpet of a defense. Your inner dreads as a fan though can be hidden deeper inside you if you encourage your team vocally: "Do it for Neil Aspin!" had to be the words to go by.

Soon, the Shaymen's heads raised up like Pez dispensers. Terry Dixon was to take a free kick from 20 yards instead of the usual from cap'n Tom Baker, and the wall-beating shot was converted from the rebound by Lee Gregory. We had begun playing with some fluency again and sent an early warning to Guiseley that their perfect home streak wasn't so safe. However, the Lions couldn't help but respond towards the end of the first half, and not too long after a looping header got palmed away by Eastwood, he couldn't stop a close-range diving header that Rothery nailed, while I snuck off to see a man about a dog, trying not to think of anything at all.


No, I'm not a professional sports photographer. Well spotted.

More match visuals taken hurriedly because I accidentally deleted all of the older stuff including two goals and me patting Danny Lowe's back in my fervour.




After their second and third, the Guiseley massive felt eager enough to vaguely chant their name a couple of times, and the next peek I heard of the home team's supporters was being told that we were the strongest side to come to Nethermoor so far this season. We were just worried that Town's courage had crumbled again and that another write-off was ahead. And bloody hell, were we given an unexpected treat!


As we kicked off I heard a "Going down, going down, going down!" chant directed at us from the other side of the ground. Must be this non-league grace and spirit we're always told about that teams like bankrolled Guiseley clearly have in abundance. Defiantly, the Shaymen of the second half were world beaters (ie. Conference North beaters). Our game flowed, our players communicated, and Guiseley's nappies got fully twisted over it. It was simply better than anything from the last five games. When Holland squared the ball to Terry Dixon, whose touch went in off defender Danny Ellis, a 3–2 scoreline felt pretty OK in and of itself. Four minutes later, Baker's corner ball reached the bowing head of Terry Dixon, and the loanee himself had opened his account finally, and deservedly.

We could then do it all. Route one was a possible, as were the flanks. Our defenders picked up the stray Guiseley counters and the entire team had grown a foot in height. After ten further minutes it was Dixon again who fed in a route one ball to Gregory. Greggers, as per, took ages with the ball inside the six-yard box: was he erring, or was he dancing with the ball to deceive the frankly petrified Guiseley defense? Either way it worked, thank god, and the feeling of us getting that 4–3 win, a three-goal gain within 15 minutes still feels stunning.


So, a confounded Guiseley kicked off for the final time in the evening, and a particular brand of classiness courtesy of substitute O'Neill's elbow floored Liam Hogan, and the former was shown the red card after six farcical minutes on the pitch. The remainder of the match was still tense but seen out well, and the eighth goal of the game was on our radar more often than theirs. It's always tense, when the three points are in sight.

Neutrals at the match would've found it fantastic, and the Shaymen certainly did. This was the Shaymen we'd seen under Aspin in the previous two seasons, a group of lads who celebrate with each other when they score and always have the goal in their collective mind. If we piece more of these results together, minus the activity at the other end of the pitch, it'll be alright. For now, our current squad have showed easy game is something we ain't.


P.S. I got a programme; a rather uncommon thing for me now considering the dross I spent 17 seconds reading at Evo-Stik level. It's a good 'un! Admittedly tinpot in design (see below) but high in content and effort and ultimately worth the asking price. Props also to the first history I've read of ourselves which wasn't copied off a dormant, semi-literate page on the official website, despite it only documenting two of our 100 seasons of footie. Canny.


Guiseley 3 – 4 Halifax Town; att. 897
Entertainment: 9/10
Ground: 5/10
Pitch: 7/10

I'm a happy Town fan.

Sunday, 10 July 2011

Mossley 1 – 5 Halifax Town; 09/07/2011.


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I sympathise for Mossley80, but I need to clear that up. I don't mean that in a way of giving charidee to the more tinpot in our lives; it's he himself that makes out a life of following Mossley to be like fishing an endless clump of hair from the basin. Like me at times, it'll take him days after the event to muster the courage to write a match day report. Just a few days ago he surpassed himself by writing a report for the season's final game: over two months after the event itself. In his defense, it'd be impossible to describe the latter half of Mossley's 2010/11 season as anything but BLEAK, all facts in mind. What Mossley80 manages to do is paint in every shade of gray that was last season's Mossley experience with adroit skill that makes it read as both hilarious and tragic.


And though he didn't attend Saturday's match, Mossley80 missed what I'd say was a pre-season highlight. Pleasant weather, and a few points of interest on and off-field. Taking a place on the terraces was a friend of mine on tour from America, coming from Orange County to Mossley. What? He was impressed. Mistakes were made around the oh-so-confusing 2pm kick-off but little action was missed tbh, this being a friendly. 

The Lilywhites themselves have pride in their 100% record against the Shaymen at Seel Park. The only time we've been here as FC Halifax Town we lost an abject 3–1 on a cold night in Sept '08, newly-reformed and dressed in badgeless, plain-blue shirts and shorts. The Jim Vince team that never got on that night, and never would for the rest of the season. Today the sun shines, the Pennines are in full view, and Town are favourites for a third consecutive promotion into the Conference Premier. A contrasting "where are they now?" reunion. Though Seel Park looks fine in the sun, the greatest part of the ground has to be the Mossley squad's nude 2011 calendar on sale in the club shop. As tempting as it is, how many of the models have now left the club?

The furious face of concentration.

Mossley earns the award of being the first ever ground I've been to that offers a full vegetarian experience. Cheese & onion pies can be had, along with chunky chips and mushy peas that my O.C. pal mistook for guacamole. That's a substantial meal! (Shut up, it is.) A tasty one, too. Within the time it took to be eaten, goal number one came courtesy of none other than Jamie Vardy, clear with a short finish going downhill towards Mossley's oldie-but-goodie "Kop" end. After that, conveniently within the time it takes to lump a load of peas on your plastic fork, Mossley had a long-range free kick despatched by Joe Heap, an 18-year-old striker who proved prolific in Mossley's youth set-up. Within those two minutes, any scouts still voyeuristically peering at Vardy would've been completely distracted by the youngster's effort, a top corner effort that could suppress any pre-season yawn. 


We were impressed but weren't going to be happy to move into half-time level. A foul from Mossley's #2 made the player forget about any notion of "friendly" after which a skirmish ensued, Town fans getting a little fed-up with the referee who was seemingly showing his eighth-tier credentials. After a third foul went unpunished outside the area, the Mossley defense kicked out the ball only for it to reach an ambitious Danny Lowe, who drove it in from 30 yards. Whey.


 In-keeping with American football, half-time entertainment was observed. Willing to make the most of Mossley's 100th anniversary of playing at Seel Park, a dressed-up club representative took to the pitch to sing Nessun Dorma. Oh dear you may say, did he mime to a karaoke track? Was it tone-deaf screeching? Did the Tannoy decide to act up? None of the above—the man did a fine service to the song that none of the 300-strong crowd were ever going to appreciate. Trust me, it wasn't bad!

I'm not reliable enough to catch any match action, but at least I got a snap that demonstrates the pitch slope we sussed out.

The second-half finished 'em off without either team giving up the ghost. 3–1, 4–1, then 5–1, where a Lee Gregory header hit the bar and took advantage of the Mossley contours, bouncing home from a bump in the hallowed turf. We were set to make it six or more as the floodgates opened, but were happy to see an enthusiastic display from all involved bar a few dispirited gents in the Lilywhites' defence. Two leagues below us, Mossley may be the lowest-ranked team we'll play this year and there's nowt to be alarmed about so far.

Oh god, and one of those golden fan comments came visitin'. A few Shayman fans were getting wound up by the youthful, emaciated linesman ("linesboy") skipping down the touchline . . .
Fan: Teagan! Tell that linesman to do his job properly!
Fan's two kids, in unison: LINESMAN! DO YOUR JOB PROPERLYYY!
Indoctrination at its best.

The full-time whistle blowed and we were treated to a particularly maudlin ditty, Handbags and the Glad Rags by the Stereophonics, a worldwide ode to the discarded polystyrene teacup and chipped paint falling from old stands. Perhaps Mossley80 was here in spirit.

Mossley 1 – 5 Halifax Town
Entertainment: 7/10

Friday, 24 June 2011

Cack-Handed Away Guide X: GLOUCESTER CITY AFC.


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Gloucester City AFC
Arriva House
Meadow Park
Sudmeadow Road
Hempsted
Gloucester
GL2 5HS
Nickname

The Tigers

But we call them

Glaaaaaarstar


Billy basics

Managers: David Mehew, Adie Harris
Founded: 1883
2010/11: 14th, Conf North
2009/10: 18th, Conf North
2008/09: 3rd, Southern Premier League
Highest position: 2010/11: 14th, Conf North
Average attendance 2010/11: 346


Who are Glaaaaaarstar?
 Despite being formed in 1883, it took six years for Gloucester to bother with going competitive. Like so many others, they got into the rhythm of joining all sorts of regional leagues until joining the Southern League in 1939. It then took the Gloucestrians a wait 'til after World War Two to see where things would take them. The stand-out factoid from their early years was in 1937/38, when striker Reg Weaver netted 67 goals in all competitions, making Ross Hannah look like a Jägerbomb-fuelled Nigel Jemson.

Post-war, Glaaaaaarstar quickly surfaced in the proper, big-boy rounds of the FA Cup, beating Tottenham Hotspur 2–1 in 1952 in front of 10,000 or so. Promotion to the Southern Premier came in 1969 and again in 1982, and again in 1989. The following season, they held Cardiff City to a Second Round replay in the FA Cup and began to aim for the Conference National. It came within a whisker in 1991 when SPL promotion rivals Farnborough scored a winner in their game against Atherstone to pip Glaaaaaarstar and their travelling hordes at Bromsgrove, the fans already invading the pitch in some vain joy. Further cup frolics came in 1997 as Dagenham & Redbridge beat them in the FA Trophy's semi-finals, a distraction to losing out on promotion to the Conference again to rivals Cheltenham Town.

It will be here that I crack on with what has afflicted Glaaaaaarster more than anything: its blasted location. In July 2007 the River Severn burst its banks once again, flooding their Meadow Park ground once and for all. The Tigers had previously been waterlogged numerous times, Meadow Park being their ninth ground. FC United can't even get one built. The Severn's floods almost wiped the club off the map on numerous occasions due to countless brief exiles and unpaid players walking out. Convinced they'll never be done over again, the current rainforest at Meadow Park plans to be rebuilt into some flood-proof barracks, and the worrying term "community stadium" has been coyly thrown in there—early promises of a soulless San Generico-type ground, perhaps?

Glaaaaaarstar won the SPL play-offs to find themselves at their highest level yet in latitude as well as prestige. The furore of such a southern outfit playing in the North half of step 2 has been much-bitched about, and subsequently forgotten about now the obscenely southern Bishop's Stropford have joined us. The pain of travelling for the rest of us has been lessened slightly by Gloucester's latest exile bringing them slightly up north to Cheltenham Town's place. Personally, Following the Shaymen prefers West Country cider to Home Counties Pimm's, so an away day is an away day, unless it's an away night in the mid-winter with an assignment to hand in the next morning.


The ground

Sources 1 2 3

Sources 1 2 3


So, it's a ground a few of us can remember from the pre-Sat Nav age. Cheltenham's unit will look much more abandoned with 500 or so Gloucestrians and Haligonians dotted about the place, wondering what their younger selves would've thought of this, but there could surely be a way of rehearsing the Town choir after this season's longest trip.
Meadow Park is pictured in part for posterity. The 21-year stay there gave Glaaaaaarstar a fairly brief identity of their own. It will however be a good few years before the Tigers next have something to roar about (a parish periodical-standard pun right there).


The town

Cheltenham was the home of the Tories' choice composer Edward Elgar, a football man himself who once wrote a piece inspired by watching Wolves play: proving somewhat that supporting yer local team has never been very well embraced. All evidence points towards Cheltenham being as southern as fook: horse racing, natural springs, Michelin-star eateries, cultural festivals, a French-named district containing millionaires' townhouses, and being voted as a decent place to live. If we can't afford to assimilate for the day then we may have to be our own tourist attractions.

For the ambitious, cross-country trains meet Cheltenham from Leeds and occasionally Manchester Piccadilly.


Will we need to segregate?

*cough*



Won't you please leave a comment?

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Cack-Handed Away Guide IX: GUISELEY AFC.


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Nethermoor Park
Otley Road
Leeds
LS20 8BT
Nickname

The Lions

But we call them

Disguiseley, Harry Ramsden AFC


Billy basics

Managers: Steve Kittrick, Chris Holland
Founded: 1909
2010/11: 5th, Conf North
2009/10: 1st, Northern Premier League
2008/09: 4th, Northern Premier League
Highest position: 2010/11: 5th, Conf North
Average attendance 2010/11: 472


Who are Harry Ramsden AFC?

Harry Ramsden AFC didn't just form for the halibut. Oh no, they were really salmon else, an amateur team formed by local "enthusiasts" and full of that non-league sole. Skate-ing from the Wharfedale League to the Leeds League right over to the West Riding County League in the first few decades of the 20th century. They kept a brill-iant record in the various West Riding leagues, winning championships and the local Wharfedale Cup nine times out of ten in the '60s. The whiting was on the wall for the West Yorkshire league when they caught a whiff of the Yorkshire League, finding a plaice in its top tier in the late '70s, hooking up the West Riding Challenge Cup thrice in a row.

In 1982 they scampi-d off to the newly-formed NECL Premier League, taking a couple of pikes at the promotion spot before getting there fo' real in 1991. They reached the FA Vase final in '90, '91 and '92, and were squids in when they won it on their promotion season. Success abounded and the Guiseley faithful were clam-ing for more. It came when they won promotion to the top tier of the Northern Premier League in 1994. Haddock they reached the end of their boundless success? Oh my cod, of course not! In their first NPL season, dab-handed Guiseley earned an FA Cup 1st Round tie against Carlisle United at Valley Parade in front of 6,548 fans, but were battered.

Guiseley then flounder-ed in 2000 when they were relegated back to the NPL Division 1 North, but fans couldn't be too trout-faced when league restructuring saw them in the Premier again in 2004. The Conference North promotion bid had begun, but something started to smell fishy. The fish smell turned out to be one of burning: their main stand was subject to an arson attack in 2008 that would've cost something to the tuna £20,000 to mend. The ruined stand clearly needed a good sturgeon. It didn't take long for Guiseley to confront the problem and mullet over; a replacement 300-seater stand was built in 2009.

Guiseley got their latest bite of success in 2010 as they perch-ed at the top of the Northern Premier League on the final day of the season, and became a minnow in the Conference North. This lowly status was a red herring: they earnt a 5th place in 2010/11, bowing out of the play-offs in the final at AFC Telford United's plaice (you've already done that one - Ed.). Guiseley continue their search for an umpteenth promotion in the 2011/12 season, and are currently preparing their home-bass for Conference National standard football. Tinpot? Guiseley frankly don't give a pollock. They're officially the second most threatening Conference North team in West Yorkshire.


The ground

Sources 1 2
Enough with the fish puns (the only reason being I've run out of them). The idea of Guiseley's ground being in the Conference National in its old form would blow claims of Throstle Nest being a garden shed straight out of the water. The new main stand is a smallie of course, and a temporary stand beside it has been added, as well as a few steps behind the adjacent Railway End. With this in mind it's all-systems-go at Nethermoor Park for competing in a national league for the first time in their increasingly-successful history.


The town

You guessed it—Guiseley is home to Britain's best-loved and largest fish and chips restaurant: big ol' Harry Ramsden's. Where else would you go? Guiseley itself is a Leeds 'burb in all honesty, the ground located on the Otley Road that goes straight up from the University. That's more or less it. The ground is just up from the station with frequent trains from Leeds, as well as buses.


Will we need to segregate?

With just 200 or so stuck in a corner of the New Bucks Head on their big play-off final day, it seems as if our nearest Conference neighbours won't be prepared to pack out San Shayro.



Be part of history, leave a comment.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Cack-Handed Away Guide II: BLYTH SPARTANS AFC.


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Blyth Spartans AFC
Croft Park
Blyth
Northumberland
NE24 3JE 



Nickname

The Spartans

But we call them

Spartizan Blythe


Billy basics

Manager: Mick Tait, ass. Chris Swailes (the ex-Bury, Doncaster and Ipswich one)
Founded: 1899
2010/11: 9th, Conf North
2009/10: 13th, Conf North
2008/09: 15th, Conf North
Highest position: 2006/07: 7th, Conf North
Average attendance 2010/11: ~450


Who are Spartizan Blythe?

Apparently "the only team to have never been relegated," Spartizan have the pride and honour of being another club that specialise in giant killing. They got closer than the propaganda and lies behind Creepy Crawley did this 2010/11 season way back in 1977/78, when they took Wrexham to a replay in the 5th Round of the FA Cup. And like Crawley, they have a song to commemorate their success. The difference? Blyth's was actually good and catchy:


In other notable efforts, they got to Reading in the 3rd Round in 1971/72, Stockport in 1995/96 in the 2nd Round, and at home to Blackburn Rovers in the 3rd Round in 2008/09, where a single goal and five leagues separated the two teams.

Even the most brainless supporter of The League of Foreign Millionaires wouldn't dismiss this ahem, plucky little non-league side as "shit," seeing as their history is seemingly unblemished with turmoil on or off the field. Going competitive in 1901, they prattled around in regional leagues until each one folded right before their eyes, until election to the Northern League in 1964. They remained here until 1994, already having been champions ten times and runners-up five times. After making it into the 1st Division of the Northern Premier League, they won a second consecutive promotion to the Premier Division. Despite missing the boat to the newly-established Conference North in 2004/05, they acted fast and earnt a place there in 2006. They've held their own here ever since.

To top it off, amidst countless esoteric cups, Blyth reached the FA Trophy Quarter Finals in '80 and '83, way back in their Northern League days. Their ambition a different flavour to the Shaymen's, we'll see which can out-muscle the other. Their striker Paul Brayson was one of the team that merked us at Newcastle Blue Star in our first season in this guise, before Blue Star imploded to everyone's indifference, their players leaving for Blyth and Spennymoor. Now aged 33, it will be our duty to find him a suitable retirement home. A final Spartizan claim-to-fame has been something a little out of keeping with their boundless triumphs:



The ground

Picture sources: 1 2 3

Yes, boys and girls, that really is a two-tiered stand. The entrepreneurial heads of Blyth have taken advantage of their recent earnings by creating a Conference-standard stadium. In 2003 new seating and concrete terracing was put in place, followed by an extended roof and bottom-tier seating for their main Port of Blyth Stand in 2007. All stands are now covered, just for us lucky travelling Shaymen. If you arrive at a place a little smaller-looking, you may have arrived at the ground of the aggressively non-league Blyth Town. The ground is located by the seaside, but hopefully there won't be as much broken glass and used condoms littering the pitch as there will be on the beach. Let's at least hope the seagulls aren't fishing in this one.


The town

130 miles from Halifax, getting to Blyth is a little more of a challenge than we've been used to. In Blyth, this translates to a derby: the poor bastards having to travel 90 and 100 miles respectively to get to local rivals Harrogate and Workington. It's a port town 15 miles up from Newcastle, so for those looking for a pub please stay in Blyth, and those looking for a night or seven of moral turpitude involving nearly-nekked Geordie lasses in Jägerbomb-freezing temperatures, please go to the Toon, not coming back until you've properly redeemed yourself. Either way, all Shaymen who will be patient enough with public transport will have to transfer at Newcastle. Trains run to the north-east from Leeds, and an overnight stay should be considered. And don't you even think of hitting the Toon with those dolly birds. They will never love you. Yes, I can tell you're thinking it. Just don't.

Blyth itself speaks of fishing, lighthouses, post-coal-mining depression and the inevitable regeneration, in which every boarded-up discount shop in the Blyth Ward will be replaced by a milk bar full of southerners by 2015.


Will we need to segregate?

No.



Give us a favourite local tipple or abuse us in your unsophisticated local dialect by leaving a comment.

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Worksop Town 1 – 1 Halifax Town; 12/02/11.


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Yeah, FINALLY. Sorry. I'm going deep into some sort of knuckle-down mode with my university work now and often days go by without this blog crossing my mind. Checking back on here and seeing that the stats are still great, I've got to continue. My town needs me.

Our main strike force (L–R): Vardy, Dean, Holland and Gregory.

Worksop would be, and was, a hard one. Going into the year they were the team closest to our heels, but threw away a few of their games in hand, including a 1–4 home loss to Ossett Town, which was nearly as surprising as if Barclay's were to start paying their taxes. Whatever happened on that day couldn't have been repeated when the champions came to town. By town I don't mean Worksop Town, as they currently groundshare at Retford. And by Retford I mean a bunch of marshy fields outside Retford.


I love the experience of going to these new grounds. Even one-stand parks have charm or things worthy of note. However, Harrogate Railway Athletic the other week had more merit than this place. A rival to AFC Fylde's non-venue, Retford United's Cannon Park has the same flat-pack stand and some corrugated tin going down the hard standing of one goal. Its redeeming feature is a gentle hill behind a decently-sized clubhouse, up which an infinite train of horse vans go. Unlike Fylde's, the pitch is small and monstrously choppy, and so I'm told an improvement from what it was just the week before. Retford United have finished in promotion places for four seasons out of four until a couple of years ago, which is a fair reason for why this place is so tiny. They are currently on their way back down again. Through Retford United, we'll be returning to Cannon Park again.

Bowed Shaymen heads, ashamed by the dull first half.

Worksop have many fans in noticeable scarves which are still swamped by Shaymen, one who staggers out of the club shop some time after kick-off with two full Evo-Stik bags. Perhaps he was stocking up for Christmas 2011, but I'm the one who got the Prescot Cables lapel badge. Things start off all Town attacking before Worksop gain an equal grasp of the game, after which a set piece is met with a Suarez header that strands Hedge. Worksop are up but we maintain a little confidence, or at least enough to try two bicycle kicks à la Wayne Rooney's that day. Obvious influences that didn't give their goalie much of a chance.

Retford will willingly sell that tunnel for just one league point.

To stay in the game Worksop used a fair amount of force, courtesy of their body weights. They held our players back repeatedly when going for headers and hoofed balls into the adjacent marshland, again repeatedly, which made the referee's three added minutes decision seem ludicrous. The physical aspect to the game took us back to last season but to their credit, they gave us no space.

The Cannon Park grandstand.

This made the match exude a feeling similar to that of Clitheroe away last year, coming back from a deficit against a team that gave us no space to turn with the ball. An equaliser wouldn't be a steal though, as we came back in the second half with by far the most attacks. The attacks they had were disconcerting but we survived. We won't survive if Lee Gregory continues to miss efforts from two yards though! A few times, getting a single paw to the ball was all their 'keeper (name still unknown), as Worksop's orange shirts flooded the box with a tried 'n tested 8–1–1 formation and could clear it enough to not have to worry about another Shaymen attack for at least 15 seconds. A penalty shout was turned down when Bower was felled, and you could even hear a faint pained whinnying from a horse that saw it through the windows of a passing horse van. We were awarded with a righteous penalty after a pull in the box, which Baker converted with typical ease and an airborne shot into the left side of the net. That's all we could get, and fair play. It's very likely that Worksop will be fighting in the playoffs and you can take a point at these places. Hopefully we bear another trip back.


Worksop Town 1 – 1 Halifax Town; att. 766
Ground: 1/10
Pitch: 2/10
Programme: 6/10 (Why is there a picture of one of Colwyn Bay's stands on the front of it?)
Talent: N/A
Chips: 5/10

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Bradford (Park Avenue) 1 – 3 Halifax Town; 24/01/11.


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 This morning we'll be singing 1. All Things Bright and Beautiful, 421. He's Got the Whole World in His Hands and 341. He Who Would Valiant Be.

When interviewed on the Shaymen Player interviewed Neil Aspin after our 8–1 win against Ossett, the first thing he let be known was his "mixed feelings." Our manager felt dissatisfied after recording Halifax Town's best ever league win in 100 years.

Great!

The Park Ave game was originally intended for a Saturday at the end of November, and I remember fetching my bike late the night before to find it covered in snow. The match wasn't to be, and this meant a lower crowd, though still an encouraging 1000 or so Shaymen. What was worse was the temperature, which throughout winter looks a bit like this on a log (Kelvin) temperature scale:

Click to enlarge.

This made it rather difficult to focus on the match as the molecules comprising my body lost their identity and begun to behave as waves, whose patterns quickly begun to overlap each other at a frantic rate. Besides which, the most impressive-looking stand in the league (besides ours) is a let-down when you get there.

The queue was long but the tea ladies kept it moving, though despite their efforts we missed the first few minutes and therefore Vardy's goal! It was close to worth it for the best chips in the league: the sort of splendour you get in good pubs. Our first seating position is towards the bottom of the stand but as high as we can get due to it being packed, and literally half the pitch is obscured by the dugouts. The meal had to be finished quickly, and stood to the top side of the covered stand a better view was found, still obscured by the stand poles and fairly dim floodlights.


The game was a hard watch for most of us because of how hard it was to play. Rain came a few times and the wind was the most powerful I've experienced in the Tin Pot. This ensured our corners would blow out of play most of the time, though is less a disadvantage when it's going your way. Holland fired a ball at the keeper (a master at fumbling the ball), and it flew almost vertically in the air. As Deano anticipated it coming down, it bounced off the ground and 45º into the top of the net! Its dynamics were closer to a rugby ball. The goal was hilarious and worth the asking price of the match.


We realised that Avenue had actually done an alright job in the second half, because running into the wind billowing from the Buttershaw Estate side of the ground was all but took the footballing experience away. They worked the wind well with their first corner. The ball passed the line for about a nanosecond. The lino and ref disagreed on the decision and most of the players joined in the goal dispute. One of them put it that it's physically impossible for Bradford Park Avenue to score a goal, seeing as they failed to score against Retford earlier this season. The other must have followed the cheers from the stands. Of course, this being the seventh tier of English football, nothing was done objectively. I kid, they rightfully halved our lead. 1–2, and with 40 more minutes of dealing with an impeding wind.

 Top tribute to a top fan. Click to enlarge.

Distance from the net when being behind the goal renders it impossible to properly abuse the 'keeper.

Besides the rugby-like movements of the ball, this signalled the turning point where players started engaging in furious rough 'n tumbles: egg chasing, Super League stylée. Vardy's pulled back in their box and we receive a penalty, thank god. It'd be extremely hard for any team to find the net when the wind would change the most blistering shot into an over-hit dribble. Our man Tom Baker buried it into the middle-right of the net, and the two-goal lead was restored.

This blog prides itself in professionalism, but sometimes I take a picture instead of filming and vice versa.

Dissatisfaction with the ref in both camps increases when Scott Phelan rides two dirty tackles followed by another, a hideous two-footer from Avenue's number 3. You can see his arms wave in protest after the first tackle, so it's no surprise that he appeared to retaliate when the number 3 floored him, and this turned into a four-man pile-on. With the fans chanting "OFF!" at the number 3, the ref misconstrued this and sent off Phelan. Wa-hey! Their player/assistant manager picks up on his team-mate's criminal offense, and lays in with a two-footed tackle of his own. Ever an example to the team he dictates, he's sent to the dressing room.


It's fair to say the sides don't like each other anymore. Our best change comes with a long-range shot that the 'keeper, naturally, fumbles, and there was even room for Hedge to spill a ball towards the end of the match too. The ball flew about on its own accord like a cheap fly-away and to some relief of watching a game bereft of many true highlights, the final whistle came. We're now 12 points clear,  21 goals clear and have scored 14 in the last three games. Seasons are never all the same, but our league seems unassailable. We're definitely starting to eye up opposition in the Blue Square North now, like a lad would eye up prettier lasses after finding that his acne has cleared up.


Bradford (Park Avenue) 1 – 3 Halifax Town; att. 1325
Ground: 6/10
Pitch: 6/10
Programme: N/A
Talent: N/A
Chips: 9/10 (succ-u-lent)

Non-partisan entertainment: 5/10

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Halifax Town 1 – 0 Bradford (Park Avenue); 19/10/10.


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Forty years ago Halifax Town AFC and their closest rivals, the original Bradford (Park Avenue), met in their final local derby at the Shay. It was a strange parting gesture for both teams though neither would have predicted it: the Shaymen were to be promoted to the third tier, their first promotion in their history, while Bradford would flounder at the bottom of the league, before losing an appeal to stay among the elite of English football. Cambridge United replaced them, and Park Avenue struggled for a while, before going pop. Halifax Town enjoyed a few glory years, including league games against Aston Villa, before being relegated. Both stories sad, though us Shaymen were of course similarly tragic when it seemed like it had all ended two-and-a-half years ago.


But it hadn't, and our ascent has already begun. A mark of it being that our first league game against Bradford (Park Avenue) for decades came and went last night, this time in the form of two teams battling for promotion to the sixth tier.

An alright crowd had been predicted, but not the 2011 that turned up. We were packed in the South Stand which gave us the plus side of being huddled together in freezing cold weather, though the atmosphere never really came. Sing when we're boiling, we only sing when we're boiling.

The first goal in the clash between Rawson and Parkinson Lane.

The match itself grinded like a local derby would from the kick-off. It even seemed to take a while for Park Ave to kick off. They neared the box as we did, but after 10 minutes we got something together slightly reminiscent of domination. This culminated in one of Jamie Vardy's most dazzling runs yet where he sprinted down the left flank, took a Bradford defender on and surprisingly (even for Vardy) beat him, taking the ball another ten yards before leaving it for Holland to tear a hole in the net from close range after 15 minutes. The highest attendance in the league so far this season sustained its applause.

For once, and last night suited me nicely for it because we came out of it with a win, we failed to be clinical. Winning the headers and playing the more superior passing football only amounted to a half-time lead of 1–0. It could've gone either way I note, were it not for our defense being a far sight better than any Park Ave attack, Hogan clearing two balls off the line so the game could carry on being a laboured derby. The late Ronnie Bottomley would have been proud of how tightly we were marked. Our chances were the majority of chances though, including the token Deano sitter.


So, after an Aspin call-to-arms, will the crowds return? I felt we brought a few from the rotting woodwork of HTAFC and hopefully they'll take the result in perspective of our current form (10 straight wins! Six straight clean sheets!) and develop an interest. Another successful enough match, and great for our profile. You can't complain if the goal margin is slight. Saturday's match will have no bearing on the gathering crowds, saying we're home to Mansfield in the FA Cup 4QR and in expectation of a few thousand, but they'll come. A close match, but one that funnily enough wasn't in doubt.


Halifax Town 1 – 0 Bradford Park Avenue; att. 2011
Entertainment: 7/10

Form:
Halifax Town 1 – 0 Bradford Park Avenue
Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town
Halifax Town 4 – 0 Harrogate Town
Burscough 0 – 2 Halifax Town
Ashton United 0 – 3 Halifax Town

Independent review (Modus Hopper Random).

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town; 16/10/10.


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Here's one for you to miss. With the mercury tucked away deep into your thermometer, your team have an away day in the First Qualifying Round of the FA Cup 100 miles away. It's something I won't pass, in part due to my tie to the Shaymen and part because I wanted to meet a friend at the university. Otherwise I'd really have to dig deep for a good reason. It is a Town match, but one you know to be a dull, unglamorous formality in a land far away. I'd have to at least ponder a 200-mile round trip for my favourite bands so it shouldn't make sense that I would go for anything less. My trump card? Well, the Shaymen are more than a favourite band, aren't they.

This was a big one for Durham. Not a crowd-puller, but one with nothing to lose. A team they now know to be far tougher than them, and a slight money-earner for the club due to Halifax Town's radical introduction of away fans to the Evo-Stik league. Their side is still barely a senior one, and the best of the local sixth formers' ability is near warm-up pace to the Shaymen.


My last trip here was early on last year, when this was one of the season's biggest games. Durham were catching up on games and winning most of them. We always had more games played and because of that tasted the first place for a couple of months. A win there would've asserted our place. An average following of 450 came up and got so little atmosphere going that an older fan started blasting "Ole, ole, ole, ole/We are the Town, we are the Town" through a tinny megaphone speaker. We had several chants this time round, which shows how far our morale has come. Walking around New Ferens Park I had memories of trying to balance a plate of chips and programme whilst clapping at the good moves underneath the stand, Danny Meadowcroft doing a season-ending slide into the hoardings at the far side, and that disallowed header that stopped it from going to 2–1 for us. Oh, and one of the Durham strikers straight after the match with a baby in his arms, yelling at our fans that they'll be the champions, and we'll be consigned to the play-offs. An insult at the time, but in finishing eighth we would've been glad of playoffs towards the end of a sadly farcical season.


I dredge up these memories because there was nothing in this match for the memory. An emphatic win with little effort and thankfully no injuries on the tough astroturf, so job done. It's good to have memories of a place that is otherwise the most arid footballing land: a gloomy galvanised stand looking over the dark green plastic with hard standing everywhere else in between a nursery, a massive blue warehouse-like sports complex, and most uninhabitably, a Premier Inn. Said "inn" is attached to the grimmest restaurant ever, a franchised thing with a personality that would bore those who go to stadium:mk full of logs that will never be burnt on a fire. Over the space of 15 minutes, they failed to cut my friend a Victoria sponge before we had to march off to the game. Pathetic beyond words. The waitresses milled around the bar like remedial amoebas, moving pint glasses one metre east, then one metre west again. If those places are to your taste, please smash your head through your monitor immediately and make it your resting place.


Nicky Gray finally got that goal for his confidence, as he weaved from the line of the corner flag to the centre edge of the box to find a good place to leave the ball in the back left, out of the reach of the University Challenge-haired goalkeeper. That came in five minutes, and the second came later on in the second-half, with a hesitant tap-in by a pump-wearing James Dean.

Tomorrow we'll see if we're drawn anywhere interesting in the next round (Prescot Cables?).


Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town; att. 282
Ground: 3/10
Pitch: 3/10
Programme: N/A
Talent: 8/10 (in the city)
Non-partisan entertainment: 2/10 

Form:
Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town
Halifax Town 4 – 0 Harrogate Town
Burscough 0 – 2 Halifax Town
Ashton United 0 – 3 Halifax Town
Halifax Town 4 – 0 Hucknall Town

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Burscough 0 – 2 Halifax Town; 05/10/10.


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Another record of away travelling for me (Burscough must be 75 miles away from Leeds), at least for a Tuesday. But when the opportunity comes up I'm prepared to gamble on me being able to concentrate on a 9am Wednesday lecture for the lads. In the gathering dark, the car ignores all signs to Skelmersdale, and instead we're lead into a very surprisingly quaint land of poshly distressed brick, village shops, and coming up to Victoria Park, a row of trees decorated in white fairy lights. A Tesco (Tescough?) is open nextdoor, open until 10pm tonight so unhappy fans can quickly nip in to buy a six-pack of diabolical Fosters to forget about the past two hours. Other than the terraces lining two corners of the ground there are unlit fields and it feels as if Victoria Park sits on the corner of the flat earth.


The bar is pseudo-old timey and a comfortable place with warm Burscough fans who tend to be getting on a bit and draped with a green and white scarf. Scarves of clubs from across Europe cover up the walls. No real ale though, sadly. As we go over to the turnstiles, kids on BMXs start to congregate. Inside the ground is an elevated stand that seats over 200 on one side of the pitch, a terraced area opposite it and one behind the goal with a neat little pitched roof, but at the time of snapping it the local kids, being the loudest in the ground at the time, had made it their home. At the end of the main stand is the snack bar, accessible from a big white room on the inside too which gives it the appearance of a works canteen. The ground has an old-fashioned feel but is kept very tidily, with the grass to the left of the main stand kept at least as well trimmed as Ashton United's entire pitch. The chap at the club shop kindly gives me an Evo-Sticker for free to slap wherever I please and gives another Shayman a Farsley Celtic scarf for two quid.

Burscough unveil new plans for undersoil heating.


The first half was one of the most low-key ones yet. There were enough moves in the midfield to keep it interesting, Tom Baker in particular always going that bit extra to dispossess his man; the way he'll launch through them or dash to the other side is a rare phenomenon when done so often, and he in particular was responsible for keeping us safe from the league's lowest scorers. Similarly with both our plays and theirs, who were consistently good at closing down play but with no decent striker to boot. At the half-time whistle the worry was whether we'd be unable to crack them and a stray goal would steal the points from us.


And in the second half the Linnets did score. As soon as substitute Ashton Bayliss got a touch of the ball from an interception, he deftly flicked the ball and lobbed . . . his own keeper. I've no idea whether I've watched 100 or 500 football matches (professional, semi-professional), but I've never seen such a gift of an own goal. We went mental in the stand behind.


The onus was on us now we had a roof to bring out the acoustics of the Shaymen choir, as well as because the hordes of Burscough kids had decided to see if they could stir up anything. Unfortunately for them, they were (metaphorically) dragged by their ears to the side of the terrace by the stewards who formed a human wall that the kids nevertheless pressed up against, despite getting nowhere near any aggro throughout the match. Sad how things go, and props to the stewarding that came when it was needed, provided by B'cough-supporting volunteers. Could've used that stewarding when a similar amount of Clitheroe kids tried to attack me, etc. Not everything went unscathed however, as after a perfectly good-hearted post-match brick-throwing, one of the supporters' coach windows broke through. Under 16s are now only allowed into Victoria Park with an adult, a grim thing to have to impose on a struggling club, but the right amount of action.


Oh, then there was another goal. Garner took a corner kick and scored from it. Another new goalform for me to cross off and something I can't quite comprehend when watching the replays. Coming with just a few minutes left, it sealed a game that was bound to be low-scoring from far out of the Linnets' reach.

Notable banter:
Burscough kids: "We love you Burscough, we do!"
Town fan: "I've got an ASBO, for you!"

"Past your curfew, duh duh duh-duh!" (to Papa's Got a Brand New Pigbag)

"Children! What's the score? Children, children, what's the score?"

We need to pick on fans our own size.


Burscough 0 – 2 Halifax Town; att. 494
Ground: 7/10
Pitch: 8/10
Programme: 2/10 (Robbery at £2. In its entirety was nine paragraphs of content, and 14 pages of adverts on the trot)
Talent: 0/10
Non-partisan entertainment: 6/10

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Bradford Park Avenue 4 – 1 FC United of Manchester; 08/09/10.


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Many of us sympathise to the scenario where you cheer your team off the pitch after another great performance, and wish a match would be on every day of the week. That's what I'm trying to do here. Less than a fortnight left of holiday and I should at least take advantage of having late nights open to me, so I did the obvious and checked out the Horsfall Ground to watch a big game for Bradford Park Avenue; one where they certainly had the potential to win, and would expect a crowd for it.



The place gives an impression of somewhere well-run. There is a stage in the bar for post-match interviews that we infiltrated with a Shaymen scarf, there is a tuck shop, the chips are proper wedges and the club shop's an immaculate effort. Above it all, blinged-up like a member of the mafia, Bob Blackburn leans from the officials balcony and the ash falling from his cigarette doesn't care where it lands. The impressive 1,800-seater stand is separated from the pitch by an athletics track, and though the other sides are unbuilt save the classy dressing room complex opposite the stand, there's a great amount of space to build on. Makes you wonder why Blackburn wishes to relocate the club to the other side of Bradford and build a 20,000-seating stadium from scratch. I mean, when you forget that just 400 turn up every week and 20,000-seaters don't come cheap.



At the shop I bought a club badge and a decades-old programme. It raises the old Euthyphro dilemma: do I not get any because I'm a sad act, or am I a sad act because I don't get any?

The players come out and the stand grows out from the center, as 500 or so FC United fans, without a single piece of sheet music in sight, go through a repertoire of oldies, replacing most nouns with the name of their team. Among them are Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols, then Peaches by the Stranglers, then Dirty Old Town by the Pogues, but my personal favourite is one with a bit of falsetto to the chorus going "Watching Eff-Ceeheeee . . ."



The game kicks off at a decent tempo and FC United are lucky to put away one of their first chances in the 8th minute by Ovington. Riordan retorts for Bradford within a minute, and the United scarves will be never waved again. Not for tonight. But the shock of a quick comeback is nothing to stop a chant and the volume level doesn't drop. Then for a seemingly very long interval the FCUM goalie falls down hurt, and remembering his team despite having two other 'keepers never has any on the bench, decided to carry on. The teams proceed to fight a well-matched first half, though a few minutes after the second goal a well-targeted Bradford header is disallowed. Some chances come either side, but nothing that properly tests either 'keeper and very few that sear the wrong side of the post.



I am taken into the bar before the first half ends by the FCUM fans we were spending the time with, coming out a few minutes later to find they're still playing. I won't succumb to missing a minute of action for anyone else again. Even if I ever have a child who wants to leave matches early, then I shall tie them to the wrong side of the net and abandon them.

The second half comes with us now stood in the middle of the chants, getting a little attention for our Town shirts, and FC United of Manchester have run out of ideas. They either punt the ball up right into the hands of Sam Scott, or are closed down by an organised back four. That second half they never got close, but the songs carried on and drowned out individual disparaging comments from the fans, and flares were lit, resulting in the Bradford defense indifferently waving the smoke from their view. The Mancunians relied on their defense, and it was thwarted as near the end, Tom Greaves slid one in at close range, with the 'keeper stood helpless by the other post.



We walked out early, because apparently the last bus back to Town in a while was setting off. As we were doing this, we heard two further cheers, too small to be FCUM goals. Tom Greaves scored two more in just as many minutes, and as we ran back to the ground finding that the next bus went after full-time, Bradford were 4–1 up with half the United fans making a run for it. One Premier League principle they haven't abandoned is leaving matches early. Park Ave continued their late all-out, narrowly missing with a cross-shot hybrid, and the whistle blew to confirm that Halifax Town had crept up a place on goal difference. £16 or £17 spent on a nice night out, though ground-hopping without a driver's license is tricky beyond words.



Bradford 4 – 1 FC United of Manchester; att. 990
Ground: 6/10
Pitch: 9/10
Programme: 8/10
Talent: 2/10
Entertainment: 7/10