Guiseley 3 – 1 Halifax Town; 09/03/11.

Guiseley 3 – 1 Halifax Town; 09/03/11.

Last night's match saw Town in a semi-final. Ooh, a semi-final! And not just any semi-final, the West Riding County Challenege Cup semi-final!

*looks around to see the room suddenly deserted, one single bar stool swivelling on its own*

I can't blame everyone for leaving the room at that point. Neil Aspin himself had no will to attend the match, so instead we had Lee Nogan acting as an auxiliary manager. Aspin was off to watch how Marshall was getting on at Harrogate Town on loan, while I'm sure Nogan was eyeing up the better Guiseley players. Guiseley had just one of their players out from Saturday, when they lost 3–0 at home to Telford United, ex-Shayman Danny Forrest being unlucky enough not to play in such a prestigious cup match. On the other hand, this was an opportunity for us to start with five youngsters, so things weren't looking good for a Valley Parade cup final from the off.

Kicking off, a subtly curved and sandy Guiseley pitch proved a much better playing surface than the one at Harrogate Railway, and the game had all the pace you'd want from a Mickey Mouse cup match. After 20 minutes, resulting from an accidental handball, Scott Phelan got a penalty after winning a paper-rock-scissors with the forwards, and sent the 'keeper the wrong way. 0–1 Town. In the first half Guiseley were the better side however. Following an extremely good shot that just went over Phil Senior's bar, Darryn "Second Class" Stamp did what he never did for us, and slipped a daisy-cutter into the net. 1–1. The cold came in and we found ourselves outmuscled, Metcalfe failing to terrorise ex-Townite Toulson and 'keeper Drench willing to leave his net for balls we couldn't reach.

Young'in Callum Mead pulled on the number 14 jersey in the second half and played an intrinsic part in balancing out the game. On several occasions he'd beat their defense but never got the finishing touch. The shot power/shot accuracy section on his Top Trump card will for now have a question mark beside it, but he was the standout youth player for us last night. Their defense was almost worked out, and if we had Gregory up front as well a shot may have found the net. Something that didn't help was the ref' calling several offsides. In fact, he gave us barely anything as Guiseley managed to bruise us off the pitch. A few unnecessary yellows. This was the same ref' that ruined it all for us at Park Ave when he failed to discipline a Bradford team that took advantage of the fact, and last night he gave two more penalties, this time for Guiseley, and both times, unwarranted. The first was two powerful for Senior, and the second killed the game off in the final minutes and sent him the wrong way, following the cleanest tackle you'd ever see. Very poor showing from a ref' that seems to have an agenda. Aaanyway, an equaliser for us before the third penalty of the night would've probably meant extra time, and no-one needs that. The Guiseley fans that bothered turning up celebrated like it was a league win for them. We didn't mind getting knocked out, but it could've been a fair knockout and it didn't have to cost £9 for admission. They should be just slightly worried that their first team couldn't defeat our weakened team.

I've seen the ground described as making Farsley Celtic look like Camp Nou. It's really not that bad, just not up to the standard at which Guiseley see themselves. It's a tidy-looking venue with a great but small clubhouse and they don't even sell chips. Two small terraces either side of one touchline, and a small stand opposite. Next season this ground will need to accommodate at least 1000 for our visit, and it'll be tough even if they get this new stand built. The cold and rain didn't help matters in the second half for this spectator having not brought my coat along, but I found a Tonbridge Angels scarf in the club shop for £1 (my god I'm weird). It exacerbated my cold but after guzzling some Paracetamol I woke up feeling good enough to get to university, where I fortunately don't study journalism.

Guiseley AFC 3 – 1 Halifax Town; att. 235

Ground: 6/10

Pitch: 6/10
Programme: no point
Talent: don't know why I bother
Food: please sell some

Bury 1 – 2 Peterborough United; 27/11/10.

Bury 1 – 2 Peterborough United; 27/11/10.

 

Saturday morning in Leeds.

I'd been sat refreshing a few screens for too long, and had to catch the train to Halifax before it became too late. Shortly after the train left the station the Bradford Park Avenue match at the Horsfall had been declared off due to a frozen pitch, a quick decision had to be made in order to save Saturday. My second team being Bury, I checked their site to find out there wasn't even a mention of a pitch inspection over in Lancashire, so off we went, getting there a few minutes after kick-off. And no, they haven't got their rose the wrong colour.

I've watched Bury several years more than Halifax Town as it's a joy I've inherited from my father, but this is possibly the longest I've gone without seeing a match of theirs in person. The last time being the two home games against Accrington Stanley at the end of the season and then Shrewsbury in the play-offs as we missed out on automatic promotion by one goal. Both of them had huge crowds of several thousand, and on both of them we lost by the thinnest margin. Halifax's season had been taken off the hob months before, and finished away to Chorley with a final farty bubble of a goalless draw a week or so prior to Accrington. It was good to be back at a spiritual home of mine.

 

Better scores, better times.

The prospect of playing a higher league team hadn't inspired Bury this time around, with one of the lowest attendances of the season clocking in just over 2,500. Peterborough stand at 10th in the third tier; the most relaxing position they've had in a while. I attended the last meeting of the sides at Gigg Lane a few seasons ago in a fourth tier affair where we coolly won 2–0. Posh earned a promotion by the end of the season, followed by another to the Championship. Followed by an unstoppable fall straight down again. Maybe they'll find League One to be the league where they belong after a few intense seasons. For the Shakers, a home draw against a competent team in the league above would potentially show how we would fare if we were to secure promotion this time around.

 

The Boro congregation was nothing to write home about. 186 fans travelling 150 miles or so would be expected of the Shaymen five leagues below. They made themselves heard nonetheless, though their drum overpowered their voices. It was obvious why they outsung us a few times as well. Bury merely covered Peterborough from ripping straight through their midfield and defense and were far too shy to tackle. Posh wasted no time in punishing us as they scored on the 12th minute with Tomlin. We peeked out from their domination a few times in the first half but lacked fundamental desire. Things got worse on the 37th with a hideous goal that rolled in at jogging pace as Sodje (another great game otherwise) sent a header back to goalie Fon Williams with so little power that Mackail-Smith could deflect it from Fon Williams' reach. In the first-half Bury were the weaker team and went forth with counter attacks. Haworth was a tricky dribbler down the wing but Ajose had the chances of the match, including one that was blocked off the line in the first half.

 

Knill must have made some effective changes to the Bury mentality at half-time, as we eventually declared our dominance over the game as Peterborough had done in the first half. It didn't take too long for our defenders to stay just inside of our half to set up chances destined towards the onion bag at the Cemetery End. On the 51st minute, Ryan Lowe smashed one in to make things promising. It's a shame the equaliser never came, but what better chance was there than the powerful strike Ajose delivered, one that Posh goalkeeper Lewis could just about get his hand to. Ajose charged like a bulldog, him and Lowe able to run through Peterborough's middle, and in a half where Bury deserved an equaliser, Ajose deserved the credit for scoring it.

The Gigg Lane family stand is one of great atmosphere where you're free to scream and yelp to your heart's content if need be. No turning around and tutting from the East Stand masses at the Shay here. A highlight was the bringing on of Posh substitue Aaron Davies, which was met by a cry behind me of "AARON PENIS?! THAT'S AN UNFORTUNATE NAME!" Following that, many fans got wound up by a referee (one that, earlier today, declared the match at the Horsfall should be on), who easily commiserated with a few Peterborough midfielders who were quick to fall over at any touch. The real challenge for the Shakers, however, is asserting their authority over league leaders Chesterfield in next week's six-pointer. This weekend neither side let their opponents get away with error and Bury, though down from a 5–0 away win at Lincoln City's Sincil Bank this Tuesday, look like they have every chance. Let's make it happen.

 

Bury 1 – 2 Peterborough United; att. 2514
Entertainment: 8/10

Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town; 16/10/10.

Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town; 16/10/10.

Here's one for you to miss. With the mercury tucked away deep into your thermometer, your team have an away day in the First Qualifying Round of the FA Cup 100 miles away. It's something I won't pass, in part due to my tie to the Shaymen and part because I wanted to meet a friend at the university. Otherwise I'd really have to dig deep for a good reason. It is a Town match, but one you know to be a dull, unglamorous formality in a land far away. I'd have to at least ponder a 200-mile round trip for my favourite bands so it shouldn't make sense that I would go for anything less. My trump card? Well, the Shaymen are more than a favourite band, aren't they.

This was a big one for Durham. Not a crowd-puller, but one with nothing to lose. A team they now know to be far tougher than them, and a slight money-earner for the club due to Halifax Town's radical introduction of away fans to the Evo-Stik league. Their side is still barely a senior one, and the best of the local sixth formers' ability is near warm-up pace to the Shaymen.

My last trip here was early on last year, when this was one of the season's biggest games. Durham were catching up on games and winning most of them. We always had more games played and because of that tasted the first place for a couple of months. A win there would've asserted our place. An average following of 450 came up and got so little atmosphere going that an older fan started blasting "Ole, ole, ole, ole/We are the Town, we are the Town" through a tinny megaphone speaker. We had several chants this time round, which shows how far our morale has come. Walking around New Ferens Park I had memories of trying to balance a plate of chips and programme whilst clapping at the good moves underneath the stand, Danny Meadowcroft doing a season-ending slide into the hoardings at the far side, and that disallowed header that stopped it from going to 2–1 for us. Oh, and one of the Durham strikers straight after the match with a baby in his arms, yelling at our fans that they'll be the champions, and we'll be consigned to the play-offs. An insult at the time, but in finishing eighth we would've been glad of playoffs towards the end of a sadly farcical season.

I dredge up these memories because there was nothing in this match for the memory. An emphatic win with little effort and thankfully no injuries on the tough astroturf, so job done. It's good to have memories of a place that is otherwise the most arid footballing land: a gloomy galvanised stand looking over the dark green plastic with hard standing everywhere else in between a nursery, a massive blue warehouse-like sports complex, and most uninhabitably, a Premier Inn. Said "inn" is attached to the grimmest restaurant ever, a franchised thing with a personality that would bore those who go to stadium:mk full of logs that will never be burnt on a fire. Over the space of 15 minutes, they failed to cut my friend a Victoria sponge before we had to march off to the game. Pathetic beyond words. The waitresses milled around the bar like remedial amoebas, moving pint glasses one metre east, then one metre west again. If those places are to your taste, please smash your head through your monitor immediately and make it your resting place.

Nicky Gray finally got that goal for his confidence, as he weaved from the line of the corner flag to the centre edge of the box to find a good place to leave the ball in the back left, out of the reach of the University Challenge-haired goalkeeper. That came in five minutes, and the second came later on in the second-half, with a hesitant tap-in by a pump-wearing James Dean.

Tomorrow we'll see if we're drawn anywhere interesting in the next round (Prescot Cables?).

 

Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town; att. 282
Ground: 3/10
Pitch: 3/10
Programme: N/A
Talent: 8/10 (in the city)
Non-partisan entertainment: 2/10 

Form:
Durham City 0 – 2 Halifax Town
Halifax Town 4 – 0 Harrogate Town
Burscough 0 – 2 Halifax Town
Ashton United 0 – 3 Halifax Town
Halifax Town 4 – 0 Hucknall Town

Halifax Town 4 – 0 Harrogate Town; 09/10/10.

Halifax Town 4 – 0 Harrogate Town; 09/10/10.

Watch the match highlights.

I take the very slight doubts I've had from time to time back. As in, when we don't win. Because when we don't, it's starting to feel very bad indeed. Neil Aspin really has designs upon this team. The way he helped his team carry out a demolishing of a troubled club, his old club that he got so close to promotion with on next to no money before leaving with no other choice, has been ruthless. Machiavelli on a 110 yard pitch. Before the match Aspin let us know that he was going to treat this game like any other tie against a step two team, and that he seemed to do. A reunion wouldn't be a good idea anyway, seeing as the Harrogate squad had completely changed over the past 18 months.

The spill of Shaymen & friends in the East Stand is looking healthy.

It was a great surprise to walk in and see a larger crowd then expected, and a party started at the same time kick-off did, us managing to sing for at least 85 minutes, exhausting literally every Town chant I could think of. Harrogate Town themselves could have brought one or two hundred, and pluckily sung along only to be drowned out whenever they did. A player of theirs ran onto the pitch in pink—I was guessing this was just the goalkeeper for a split second until it turned out they were all in pink. It's nothing short of noble to put yourself out like that for breast cancer awareness, but like that's going to stop the south stand from goading. They put in some good effort to start off with and some that made the two teams equal, though mysteriously they never got a shot in despite the pink presence in our third. After the routine finding-our-footing, we found ourselves deep into a pretty dirty game. Two-footers and  tackles on James Dean on goal etc etc, and a penalty was eventually given, along with a big fat red for their Pell. Naylor followed suit a few minutes into Harrogate's deficit for going two yellow cards too far: nine men before the break! With some composure, they began to realise the only way around a card-happy ref was to tone down the rough play, and by half-time it remained 1–0, though there was hardly a chance of that scoreline changing in their favour.

They're playing in pink? . . . PINK?!

A miraculous scenario to have at half time especially with the atmosphere, a number of buzzcuts in tracksuits appearing here and there who you don't normally see at the games. I'd imagine Aspin's words were few but to not make any silly mistakes and put a few more past them. Many shots got close, Gonzalez having to throw himself to the other side of the net for a few lethal shots (Baker being a chief suspect). Within only a handful of minutes Vardy signalled his return after being injured since Northwich with a rebounded close-range shot into the opposite corner, one that not a single goalie could get to. Gonzalez did his bit but the deficit had to be large. Both teams were behaving on the field save Harrogate Town getting very frustrated with some decisions . . . understandable for the more innocent ones when little could be played after two sendings off.

One to watch: Withinfields' no. 8.

Part-time fans were appeased when two goals in quick succession proved on paper that we really did lamp Aspin's old club. A bunch of Harrogate delegates had abandoned the stands after a smooth Taylor tap-in. It would've been heartbreaking were they still there to witness their old man Holland hammer the penultimate one from the edge of the box. A fifth went in but was declared offside, which the finish certainly wasn't but who's to complain. We were the lower league side and the better side, and with three knockouts we are officially on a cup run!

An interesting aside, since Following the Shaymen prides itself in its impartial coverage: many H'gate fans are happy with this result. Why? Their manager Weaver has been accused of being out-of-touch and being inept à la Jim Vince, with a good eye for players but not a single clue on how to put them on their mettle. Nothing is expected, but they hope such a diabolical result for them is exactly what's required to see the man out, a man who has no intention on resigning himself. An official joined the fan forum purely to rudely rebuke an open letter of complaint on there, and with its harsh words sizzling on my mind I see eye-to-eye with their plight. No matter how the performances are going, the fan is the one they should be treating above anyone else. If a fan has been supporting your team longer than you've been in charge of it, then take their words into consideration. They may just have a point to make. Cheers!

 

4QR. The one before the 1st Round. Will we appear on the small screen this year? Many would fancy us against any contenders for Monday's draw. There is the relative ease of Frickley or Sheffield FC, FC United of Manchester and then the true gift clash between Lincoln Moorlands Railway (cute name and second bottom of the NCEL) and Mossley AFC. Then there's even York City, Grimsby and a few others, who we could also hold our own against at our current standard. A slightly bigger party (probably) awaits in two Saturdays' time, but the focus for many Shaymen right now is clenching a win against whoever that will be, and the never-forgotten taste of league opposition.


Halifax Town 4 – 0 Harrogate Town; att. 1834
Entertainment: 8/10

Form:
Halifax Town 4 – 0 Harrogate Town
Burscough 0 – 2 Halifax Town
Ashton United 0 – 3 Halifax Town
Halifax Town 4 – 0 Hucknall Town
Ashton United 1 – 2 Halifax Town

Independent review (FA Cup Groundhopper).

Ashton United 1 – 2 Halifax Town; 25/09/10.

Ashton United 1 – 2 Halifax Town; 25/09/10.

The two Saturday home games against Whitby are over, so time for the two Saturday away games at Ashton United's Hurst Cross. Good enough for me, because I remember loving the place in February when Mossley had to play there. I discover they don't have one gents' at the corner of the ground that is just a 5'6 brick wall, but two. I get some drinks down me and have a wee at one during half-time. I have exercised my maleness by pissing on a low designated wall—the most unorthodox bogs in English football—and so should you. Sadly, the weather's getting plain nasty so make sure no-one catches a glimpse of your cold-shrivelled member.

 That isn't my head. I'm just a voyeur.

At the end of this week, Ashton will be swimming in it from two days of hosting Town, which does our bit in helping them survive after being sued £32,000 for that career-ending injury one of their players inflicted on another several years ago, as compensation culture has wormed its way into northern football matches, where you realistically should expect to get some career-ending injury on your way to retirement anyway. I'm glad to come back in the daytime.

Where Ashton lock up their old managers.

Because this is football, and vegetarians are therefore gays, I got a serving of chips and pestilant-looking mushy peas which turned out to be gorgeous, rather than the elusive Holland's pie. I also took another look in the shop, but the way the conversation the shop attendants were having stopped as soon as a Town fan came in made me quickly scarper. To wrap up eating two of my five-a-day (chips 'n peas) I had a Mars, and as I dropped the end of it off in a bin, Ashton scored. 1–0 in 20 seconds, and Town hadn't even touched the ball. Those extrapolating the score to predict a 270–0 victory by full-time would be silly buggers, as after this with some work from Hedge, and little work beyond catching crosses and squared balls for the Ashton 'keeper, the first half ended with a 1–0 deficit. Luckily though, a referee decided to attend the game, and despite being as imperfect as the tier he works in suggests, he was one who checked his decisions throughout the game. For better or worse, in the 44th minute he sent off an Ashton player. It made sense to send off one to punish the rest of them, as the Shaymen were facing yet another team that practise rolling about on the ground more than anything else during training, and this would be a turning point where, after a half-time "chat," we could find areas to properly penetrate the Ashton box after a level 45 minutes.

It was definitely tough still, possibly with only one forward (half in experiment, half because Deano had conjunctivitis). With as always, either a profoundly unfit Ashton side or more likely a very dirty Ashton side, they tumbled here and there, but the referee would have little of it, ending up telling main culprit number 6 to get up. That, an uneven pitch, and the Ashton tactics that have seen them let in little and score few more, made it tough to watch the artful game, but we're all equally happy to watch the northern game.

The goals came in the last fifteen minutes, and they had to have come at some point. Three of them, the last being disallowed. Two short-rangers from Taylor were notched, one off a rebounding penalty, but enough to make things ecstatic in a packed terrace behind the goal. A contrast to the dejected face of the defender who stopped in his tracks as the second went in, and trudged back to the middle of the pitch where an early FA Cup knock-out was waiting for him and his club.

In two weeks we play the 3QR at the Shay, playing at home to Harrogate Town.

Ashton United 1 – 2 Halifax Town; att. 525
Ground: 8/10
Pitch: 5/10
Programme: N/A
Talent: lass in the tea hut looked good from behind
Non-partisan entertainment: 6/10