Whitby Town 1 – 5 Halifax Town; 13/04/11.

Whitby Town 1 – 5 Halifax Town; 13/04/11.

My first shout out in a programme. Bright pastures ahead.

After a washout which stranded several hundred Shaymen in Whitby this February, it would've been more ideal if we could try again last Saturday, rather than midweek. Were we to have won the title here on a Saturday the turnout and resultant atmosphere would have been fantastic, but instead 250 Shaymen made a Wednesday night trip in search of three points we didn't even need. On the other hand, Whitby really needed this. Three points wouldn't've given them mathematical safety, but realistically that's all they need to stay up this season.

In my sad, cold life, bereft of all pleasures of the flesh, this 200-mile round trip is the longest I've done midweek. I await your applause. Setting off at 3pm I got a lift and spent a comfy half-hour over a Theakston's Best Bitter in the clubhouse in good Shayman company. Still reeling from the losses of the Whitby–FCHT fixture that was called off, the bloke at the turnstiles charged me for an adult price, despite qualifying as a concession. Cameron's Britain, eh. I picked up an enamel badge and found an atrocious old Whitby Town on Tour t-shirt designed poorly on Microsoft Word that I don't believe I didn't buy on the spot.

The main stand at Whitby is average-sized for this level but impressive and boasts a great view. After dribbling some mushy peas down my shirt and trousers however, I left for the terrace on the opposite touchline, also of a decent size. Behind the nets on either side is hard standing that opens up to housing behind. The pitch had made a marked improvement from its state during the washout, where a dozen seagulls were occupying some small pools in it, looking for lunch.

 

In the first 15, Whitby showed their desire, forcing Hedgey to draw out his land in the box. We kept up a resistance and Whitby 'keeper David Campbell made a decision suitable of someone twice his age when the 40-year-old walked out of the box with the ball, only for Danny Holland to intercept him and almost get a second touch which would've found the net. It was then Ibby Hassan who had his clearance blocked for Holland to take control of, and to cross it in for Greggers to despatch from a few yards out and open up the scoring. Few chances came between that and our second, a bouncing Holland header from a free-kick that outwitted the handful of Seasiders in the box. The game descended into pure merkage when Phelan showed quick feet to boot one into the uncovered top-right of the net from Tommy Ten Men's delivery. From five vague chances we'd been more clinical than ever and put the match away.

The second half came without grief. Lowe's shot was too hot for Campbell to handle, resulting in Greggers missing another of those hilarious open nets. Some hint of momentum then came when Whitby's top goalscorer Jimmy Beadle pushed a daisy-cutter past Hedgey from 15 yards at slo-mo speed. Six minutes later, following a facile decision from the ref', Tommy Ten Men fell in his box and subsequently pelted it into the top left corner to restore the three-goal margin at 4–1. Were that penalty a woman, it'd be someone juicy if a little vintage. Fiona Bruce perhaps. A Whitby midfielder yelped "We're being made to look small!" as we playfully ruffled their hair through the second half. Probably a bit late telling them that, pal. We made our Whitby league aggregate 10–2 as the match came to a close, Phelan rolling it in.

The cheers from the Halifax 'alf of the crowd were more of what you'd hear if we were thrashing Lincoln Moorlands Railway pre-season. Whitby had to find their points elsewhere, and since have done against rivals Mickey Mouse Sports and Ashton United. Good for them, a top town that deserves good rep, y'all. Despite intimidation from pockets of Whitby yoof, we made it home intact. Project 100 Points is very much on.

Whitby Town 1 – 5 Halifax Town; att. 491

Match: 7/10
Atmosphere: 2/10
Food: 6/10
Drink: 7/10
Clubhouse/bar: 8/10
People: 4/10
Programme: didn't get, but thanks for the shout, Goosey.
Town: 10/10
Ground: 8/10
Talent: 2/10
Overall day: 8/10

Colwyn Bay 2 – 1 Halifax Town; 03/01/11.

Colwyn Bay 2 – 1 Halifax Town; 03/01/11.

Could you ever believe it? Two matches in three days! Finally, some excitement in our lives! A bank holiday trip to remember and er . . . oh.

At least our two longest journeys are out of the way. Colwyn's a 200-mile round trip to scenic Wales. Pies were forbiddingly served upside down in their polystyrene cases with no vegetarian one on offer. What is to expect of a country where boys leave school at 10 to become mercenaries for various tribes, while the girls are forbidden from even having an education? Adults were charged £7, on the cheap side for NPL games, but a whole week's wages for the average Welsh family.

Some Colwyn pressing quickly followed kick-off, but 'twas us who first threatened to get it in with a Vardy header that hit the post. They were tough oppo' to get through but the work rate between Baker and Phelan edged us. This was brought to the score sheet after 27 minutes when Phelan decided to take one of his hits and it fired in from outside the box. Phelan is always known to hit the woodwork with these efforts but a piece of justice came for him in one of the best goals of the season.

The first half carried on as it did. Tight, well played but without much of note. We were a few times saved by the fists of Hedge, who had to almost juggle the ball mid-air from a cross, punched it out a few times and managed to smother a shot that the Seagulls thought had been spilled (kickety-kick). Colwyn soon went on to show their Clown College side with a bit of acrobatics, which the referee did everything to encourage, rewarding kicks to them every time they performed a roly-poly.

It was when the second half came in that this really did grow painful. Before our substitutions (our four out-field players on the bench were strikers, which was worrying), we played at domination. So many balls swept past the goal line and into the other wing, with the Colwyn keeper catching each ball like a kitten after several hits of catnip. He became the official man of the match. Deano's legs were rightly proclaimed dud, and Marshall replaced him. Garner was surprisingly replaced by Taylor, despite having a good game. Our attacks outnumbered Colwyn's by about three-to-one . . . yet . . . two of their goalmouth scrambles went in. The first was a surprise that couldn't dent our hopes too much. The defending for the second was abject, and after about forty-six attempts at our goal from four yards, it went in. All of a sudden, there were 350 Colwyn fans in the ground, and they were cheering. Strangely they mostly had weak Scouse and Lancashire accents, while the children spoke like they were performing in period dramas. I remember barely being able to spot one in August '09, when we showed the team that went up with us how much of a threat we were with a 3–0 rout at Llanelian Road. Their inability to support a team for the majority of the time was highlighted with their second chant, "Can we play you every week?" which was a call for sadomasochism as the best team had lost. Or maybe they meant "Can we play with ewes every week?" Gerrit?

A stale taste of Prescot air came after the game's third and final goal. Their players would deliberately head away new balls that were thrown in after they skied our attacking balls out of play. The humiliation came when they refused to hand us a ball for one corner, and Tom Baker had to jump the fences to retrieve one from the field behind the East Stand. That gesture has highlighted to me the lack of professionalism that often crops up in this league, and a sad sense that our efforts are being manipulated. Three added minutes were given, of which one more was played, and the sun set on a desperate day where we lacked it clinically, slid on the pitch surface too often and failed to establish our positions. Seeing Vardy act as an auxiliary forward didn't best chuff me, as he had the most potential for scoring.

Luckily we can nip the entire problem behind today's loss in the bud by looking at how the defense deals with balls in the area. With a little more luck this is our "blip" team and we can lick the likes of Worksop and wonder why they're in the position they are. Another of the toughest draws comes this Saturday, away to Sludgeheap Victoria. I'll be hungry for more efficiency, Bower's defensive guidance, and better vantage points than at Llanelian Road.

Colwyn Bay 2 – 1 Halifax Town; att. 844

Ground: 5/10

Pitch: 5/10
Programme: N/A
Talent: 5/10

Non-partisan entertainment: 6/10 

FC Halifax Town 1 – 0 Chorley; Fri 2nd April 2010.

FC Halifax Town 1 – 0 Chorley; Fri 2nd April 2010.

The two home games giving us light relief between six away fixtures over just a few weeks bear some light relief: Lancaster's next Saturday being the game of the season promises the second highest attendance to Wrexham's, one of the greatest atmospheres, and hopefully a performance our way that stretches beyond the great. Which it most likely will. And today's was Chorley, not the most immediately remarkable of features, but one historic occasion as the first time Town fans are allowed into the new East Stand.



Though we dawdled and missed the first minute, we were still in on the match entertainment. Within a few minutes a corner found Payne's goalie-stranding head and on the sixth minute, the game's only goal had been made, and the champagne broke against the new ship. The first half followed through as one of the nicest halves this footballing season, always going forward with balls, many corners, a good amount of noise and none of the Chorley attacks seeming threatening. Their goalkeeper did a hell of a lot to try and save them from then on. The execution again just about lacked, and the low balls on a very choppy surface, but everything was up to scratch considering level of opposition. I say it would've been one of the nicest half of the footballing season, but I stood there needing a wee for most of it. Town fans expected more of the same in the second half.



In fact, we dozed a little. We did realise this after a little while, and a few torturously close goalmouth scrambles ensued. By and large though, it was a half of balls being just too short and an unsatisfying follow-up half. At times when Hedge perfectly judged a header of theirs, and a couple of blats at the nets which he could only tip over, we were hanging from the thinnest sinews.



It was a tough one, but the second half remained a fairly 50–50 affair, but out of it both goalkeepers played a vital part for their club by not increasing the numbers on the other side, and either defense just about cut it. It wasn't the best for us to watch for 45 minutes, balls going a little short, play not all there, but as much as it failed to grab the game, it served its purpose. A less settling part of it was Phelan being a bit out of it, getting frustrated and reaching his tenth yellow, meaning he's out for Ossett and Radcliffe. Points in the bag there really, but you can't be too self-assured and our midfield's thin in numbers on the run-in.



To the stand-opening! Not as many occasional supporters came in as possibly hoped for, but a good lot to be proud of. Chorley had the good grace of bringing one of the biggest away busloads too, which is refreshing. They have to be one of my favoured teams in this league, with a relatively high support, a tendency to play football and one of the best looking grounds in the whole country. The East Stand is alright for legroom, nothing as cold as I imagined, and it felt awfully prestigious like, walking down the runway, looking up at all the fans. Three sides were open, again for the first time since Wrexham, with 30 or so of the hardcore Skircoat grumblies remaining there. Quite something to see the Skircoat as populated as it would be during a pre-season friendly at 3am on a Monday against Mold Alexandra. I'd divulge in that EMC company deciding to run our food stalls, but it wouldn't be pretty to read.



It's one of the greatest bricks in the wall of the new club, anyway. The next thing we need doing with is obviously the title, but for a fan who has only even seen the East Stand with people in it twice, over a decade ago now, today's game was good, but the new beginning made it great.



FC Halifax Town 1 – 0 Chorley; att. 1508.
Top men: Hedge, Lowe, Baker.

Seasonal affective disorder.

Seasonal affective disorder.

It is sad news indeed to announce in the Following the Shaymen HQ that Winter has been called back early to Northwich. We'll without a doubt be greatly missing his input.

I just don't see that this loss can affect us too badly. I'll miss the lad. The Phelan–Baker–Winter combo would be a tough one to reckon with in any Town formation in the past couple of decades. However, we can't let ourselves panic.

Before Winter came along we were the promotion force we've always been. By the close of the year our WDL record was still brilliant. We can't be completely lost from these heady days a few months ago. Despite the few that'll be available at this time too, Aspin is the one who'll look for talent to paste into the cracks. Northwich Victoria have their team on transfer list, and may be a good call to find another player (is Junior Brown still playing for them? Ha, ha, ha). Otherwise it'll be at least considered that we'll sign him.

For now, we still have Syko, who seemed a gem at the start of the season. In his few performances since he's been substandard, nutting a player and getting sent off within a few minutes of his return to the game from a broken arm. He could play deep a little while we get Baker to gang up on the goalie with Scott. Whatever way, if we harness our line-ups correctly, which Aspin will near doubtless do, we won't realise the potential points loss in Winter's return.



Still, this is JUST like waking up from a dream just before the really good bit.

The part where you're about to open that treasure chest.

The part where the sultry temptress (played by Carey Mulligan in this author's fantasy) goads you into your hotel room.

The part where you're sitting on a cloud with God, and upon asking him the meaning of life, he opens his mouth and says, "Well, Arthur . . ."

The part where Deano places the ball on the white spot 10 or so yards from the keeper, takes a long run up and fires home the fifth goal in front of thousands of Shaymen against Lancaster in April, sending us eight points clear on the top of the Unibond North.



Anyway, a third of the season to go, and if we keep it up, we'll end up on 99.0000001 points. Sound alright to you?